Influenza

Nebelspalter, Zurich, 1890:

Policeman: “Come along, you have influenza!”
Drunk: “Yes, and how? I’ve been looking for a doctor for three days and can’t find one — they’re all sick!”

“What a serious misfortune has afflicted your family!”
“Oh, it’s nothing, we only let ourselves be influenzed!”

“There are people who claim that influenza (achoo!) starts with a headache (achoo!) and delirium (achoo!).”
“Hell, then you’ve got the same thing all year round.”

“Hey, neighbor, don’t cough so loud, I can’t sleep!”
“Oh, if you don’t allow me to cough, I have the right to stop you from sleeping.”