“My son was also vaccinated today. Do you think it will be of any use?”
“Is it useful? What else, I say! Our Jonah was vaccinated yesterday and today he fell down the stairs and broke the very arm that had been vaccinated.”
(Tuulispää, Helsinki, 1931)
“Poor old man! In the 30 years that I’ve known him, I have always seen him sleep in the office like this.”
“My goodness! It’s a long time since he invented encephalitis lethargica!!!”
(Le Petit Journal, Paris, 1920) (Presumably punning on the sense of languor.)
“The concierge’s maid is always banging on the piano; didn’t you tell her that smallpox is in the neighborhood?”
“Yes, but she was vaccinated in her leg and it only bothered her for the pedals!”
(Journal de Dreux Illustré, Dreux, 1904)
“Are you going, old beggar?”
“Yes, it’s gotten too cold.”
“Go, but take your rags!”
(Le Triboulet, Paris, 1884)
“He says he has yellow fever, only the major doesn’t want to acknowledge it.”
“Nothing special, a blue [rookie] with yellow fever, he should be all green!”
(Le Régiment, Paris, 1915)
Make sure you’ve understood, Marie: I have encephalitis lethargica; you will not make any wake-up calls until after the end of the holiday season.
(Le Siècle, 1926)
“The plague to fear the most… here it is!”
(The woman’s sash reads “Marianne the cursed,” and given the tombstones, this seems like a gesture toward the costs of French colonialism. In 1897 there was news of an outbreak of plague in India, sparking fears that it would make an appearance in Europe. The tenth international sanitary conference was held in Venice that same year, devoted to discussion of bubonic plague.)
(Le Triboulet, Paris, 1897)
“Improved six-barreled flea-thrower with a refuting double-barreled trailer.”
Ballistic cannisters labeled “plague,” “typhus,” “cholera.”
(American Secretary of State Dean Acheson and UN Secretary-General Trygve Lie are doing the refuting.)
(Krokodil, Moscow, 1952)
(Le Journal, Paris, 1920)
Mr. Guineapig, having read the newspapers, thinks that the headache which he is experiencing could well be the symptom of encephalitis lethargica.
His tailor having come to ask him for a fairly large sum for developing a very small waistcoat, Mr. Guineapig feels, without a doubt, that he must be suffering from it.
His plumber having presented him with an invoice for 1,100 francs, responsible for having opened and closed a faucet, Mr. Guineapig feels that encephalitis lethargica is making frightening progress.
His girlfriend having come to present him with some observations concerning the high cost of living, Mr. Guineapig feels quite sure that his days are definitely numbered.
Fortunately, having received a visit from a debtor who brought him a small deposit, Mr. Guineapig feels that encephalitis lethargica is not so dangerous and that it can be cured very well in some cases.
(Le Journal amusant, Paris, 1929) (French stereotypes are alive and well here.)
The flu is waning … beware!
The work of the anti-drip on the nose warns you against the gallants suffering from coryza.
The flu germs are transmitted by the mouth. Detestable, these supplies of mouth.
Always carry a vaporizer to clean your larynx and nasal passages.
Avoid people who sputter. Use a protective screen.
If you must sleep with someone who has the flu, demand that he wear a protective mask.
Hot drinks, strongly alcoholic, are recommended. A good meal is a sovereign remedy.
Put a good hot water bottle in your bed. Keep your stomach warm.
Fight against the nervous breakdown which follows a flu attack through gymnastic exercises broken by long rests.
“I’m pretty sure I have the flu.”
“It’s nothing at all. What would be serious is if you were to give it to me.”
(La Dépêche, Toulouse, 1933)
“Poor fellow, your wife has the sleeping sickness.”
“Ah!… Can I hope that she will sleep for a long time?”
(Le Journal amusant, Paris, 1920)
in the faubourg Saint-Germain, in January in the year of the Flu 1890
(La Caricature, Paris, 1890)
“Arriba, doctor! No matter what it costs, the first jar of vaccine to go on sale, I’ll keep it.”
(La Campana de Gracia, Barcelona, 1921) (Clearly I need more context for this one.)
“I shouldn’t drink schnapps, I shouldn’t get angry, otherwise I’ll get the cholera — but if I don’t drink schnapps, I get angry, so schnapps and cholera rather than anger and cholera.”
Peter Carl Geissler, likely 1830s. (National Library of Medicine)
Sic Transit Pestilentia 