Among the ladies

“Pay it no mind, sir, it’s the missy who recommended that I phenolize all her visitors as long as there’s talk of an epidemic.”
(Le Monde comique, Paris, 1884)

Maladies

“Doctor, how are you charging me five francs for the visit?”
“But that’s cheaper than for everyone else.”
“That’s true, but think about the fact that I was the one who brought the influenza to the neighborhood.”
(Le Monde comique, Paris, 1896) (See this similar German cartoon as well as this nearly identical French cartoon three decades later.)

News of the day

“It is frightening, my dear; it seems that the plague is approaching us.”
“Your mother is coming to see us?”
(Le Monde comique, Paris, 1879)

The pharmacist

Continuing our clystère theme, a few verses from Le Monde comique (Paris, 1869).

In a provincial town
I am an established pharmacist.
I drink, I eat, and, like a prince,
I have fun doing nothing.
It’s my boy who manipulates [the clystère],
And my students are charged
With getting the pill swallowed
In customers who are upset.

Alas! my little selfishness
For others dreams of typhus,
Coryza, fever, rheumatism,
Measles and cholera morbus.
I am not afraid of the epidemic,
Because, if I carry on without remorse,
I know the pharmacy too well
To make one [an epidemic?] of my body.

Shrieking microbes

“Tell me, doctor, why does water make noise when falling into fire?”
“Microbes that shriek when burned!”
(Buen Humor, Madrid, 1925)

Doctor’s advice

(Le Régiment, Paris, 1919)

The flu? Nothing could be easier to avoid, if you would follow the recommendations I’m making for you…

And first of all, if you have to get in line, to join the crowd: don’t hesitate! Put on a mask against the miasma… Leave all coquetry aside.

In the subway, if a man speaks too close to you, do not hesitate to spray him with Goménol, Cresyl, or other disinfectant products.

And above all … ah! above all, don’t let anyone kiss you. Use the most energetic means to drive any intrusive person away from you.

Take baths of phenic acid solution, phenol, and other horrors.

Ah! no, no, rather a hundred times the flu: kiss me quickly, my darling… all night long I’m going to have nightmares about the idea of everything I would have to do not to catch it!

What seemed nothing to you in war may seem terrible to you in peacetime

(Le Régiment, Paris, 1919)

We could very well have taken hill 304… but not be able to take the Metro.

One may have resisted Kraut attacks… …but not resist French attacks.

There are the exploding bombs we escape… We are killed by certain explosions… of endearment.

With a mask we are not afraid of noxious gases. Without a mask, they are more annoying…

It depends on how one understands it

“I’m afraid to pay my tribute to the Spanish flu…”
“If I was sure, I would ask for an extension of permission to carry it to the Krauts!”
(Le Régiment, Paris, 1918)

A gaffe

“What are you ailing from?”
“Influenza… it’s nothing…”
“Nothing?… But you know that one dies within twenty-four hours…”
(Le Journal amusant, Paris, 1892)

Fashionable disease

“There you are, doctor… We went to attend a psychological comedy last night, and since then he has been in this state…”
“Encephalitis lethargica! Since music is the only known cure, all you have to do is take him to the opera.”
(L’Avenir, Paris, 1920)

A flair for cholera in Backwater

“What do you want, I don’t have cholera, I’m just drunk!”
“Brother, believe me, he’s just pretending!”
(print from the 1830s, via National Library of Medicine)

Out of quarantine

“The countess?… but she was put in quarantine!”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely, Mr. Drinker.”
“Damn!… but she will bring us cholera!”
(Le Triboulet, Paris, 1892)

Jazz whispers

“Young lady, you look straight out of Sylphides!”
“Dat ain’t true, I’m totally healthy!”
(Die Muskete, Vienna, 1923) (Les Sylphides was an early Romantic ballet most famously revived by Michel Fokine in 1909.)

A good excuse

“…lazybones, five o’clock and still in bed!!!”
“But no, my dear, I am suffering from encephalitis lethargica.”
(Le Matin, Paris, 1920)

A case of true cholera

“Bundle him up Bedclothes & all & off with him to the Hospital as quickly as possible. Fumigate the Room instantly or I’ll not answer for the safety of the Neighborhood for never was there a more glaring Case of Cholera.”
(inspecting chamber pot) “Bless me! here be the Strongest Symptoms of Some Disorder…”
(G. Tregear, London, 1832, via National Library of Medicine)