“…lazybones, five o’clock and still in bed!!!”
“But no, my dear, I am suffering from encephalitis lethargica.”
(Le Matin, Paris, 1920)
A good excuse
Tag: French
How nice of you to come
“How nice of you to come down to my place! You will help me treat a friend who’s arriving from Rio de Janeiro with yellow fever.”
(Le Charivari, Paris, 1878)
Spanish flu souvenir
(Le Régiment, Paris, 1919)
“I’m panicked… my husband, who’s gone to the provinces on business, is stuck in bed down there with the Spanish flu…”
“I can’t stand it any longer… I love him too much… I’m going to join him… A few light clothes and off we go!…”
“Here’s his hotel!!! Here’s the door to his room… In we go!”
“Oh, what a sight!!! I sure see the Spanish… but where is the flu???”
Not God, but smallpox
“My dear, I got vaccinated…”
“And me too, right here…”
“Our age no longer fears God, but it greatly fears smallpox!”
(Le Journal amusant, Paris, 1907)
Fashionable illness
“He’s not moving anymore, you–knocked him out.”
“Not at all, I think he is suffering from encephalitis lethargica!”
(Le Journal, Paris, 1920)
Cholera ward
How Mr. Waldeck-Rousseau, Mr. Hérisson, and Mr. Raynal visited and comforted the sick in Marseille and Toulon.
(Le Triboulet, Paris, 1884) (Waldeck-Rousseau was minister of the interior, Hérisson was minister of commerce, and Raynal was minister of public works in the government of Jules Ferry.)
Encephalitis lethargica
“Is that a parliamentary deputy? He’ll sleep for four years.”
(Le Matin, Paris, 1920)
On the coast
“Have you ever drunk that bloody rotgut that the English call whiskey?”
“Yes.”
“Well! that’s what cured me of yellow fever on the coast of Africa.”
(Le Journal amusant, Paris, 1907)
His Majesty at the border
“What do you mean, you want to force me to quarantine at the Spanish border?”
“Your majesty will pardon us, Sire, we are only carrying out your orders. You have imposed a quarantine on all travelers coming from countries infested by cholera or plague…”
“Well!”
“But, Sire, your Majesty is coming from France and could bring us the republic.”
(Le Triboulet, Paris, 1883)
The League of Nations is sick
“What does she have?…”
[Woodrow Wilson] “Encephalitis lethargica…”
(L’Avenir, Paris, 1920)
Daily items
(Le Triboulet, Paris, 1884)
To avoid cholera:
1. Be clean
2. Be sober
3. Don’t walk too much
4. Don’t eat ice cream
5. Smoke in moderation
6. Beware of humidity
(signed) Dr. Koch
Cazot is bound to catch the microbe, since he would rather drown than take a bath.
Temperance being the primary necessity, Jules Ferry, a great swallower of all things Chinese, will be an excellent subject for the scourge. [As Prime Minister, Ferry was the chief culprit in accelerating French colonial entanglements in Indochina.]
The violent exertion that Mr. Cochery is giving himself to quickly send us our despatches and letters will be fatal to him. [Cochery was Minister of Posts and Telegraphs.]
Abusing ice cream is fatal: enamelling is a lost gift. [Punning on the double meaning of “mirror.”]
How can we prevent our respectable people from smoking a lot, since, with their driving permits, they have more than six stations at their disposal?
We can say to Grévy [president of the Republic]: “Don’t lie down on the grass, he won’t want to give up his pelouze.” [Grévy was rumored to be having an affair with the wealthy socialite Marguerite Wilson-Pelouze.]
Epidemic
“The smallpox vaccine gave all the kids who have math homework a little fever today.”
(Carrefour, Paris, 1955)
A lengthy illness
“Poor old man! In the 30 years that I’ve known him, I have always seen him sleep in the office like this.”
“My goodness! It’s a long time since he invented encephalitis lethargica!!!”
(Le Petit Journal, Paris, 1920) (Presumably punning on the sense of languor.)
Smallpox in the neighborhood
“The concierge’s maid is always banging on the piano; didn’t you tell her that smallpox is in the neighborhood?”
“Yes, but she was vaccinated in her leg and it only bothered her for the pedals!”
(Journal de Dreux Illustré, Dreux, 1904)
The departure of cholera
“Are you going, old beggar?”
“Yes, it’s gotten too cold.”
“Go, but take your rags!”
(Le Triboulet, Paris, 1884)
Sic Transit Pestilentia 